god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
