Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
