So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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