Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I have feelings that need drinking.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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