Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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