i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Someone stole a lamp last night.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
