your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
They left me at home... I'm a liability
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
