Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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