Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
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