I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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