Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
3pm strippers are depressing
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
