in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I understand Curling. That high.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
