im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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