I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
