I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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