Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
