Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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