I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
