the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
