Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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