id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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