Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
