To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
