honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
