you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
