He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
