I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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