It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
