he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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