um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
