I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
