Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
