I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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