My balls are so social today.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
