So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
