Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
