I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Randomize
