Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
