so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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