So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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