i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
