I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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