the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
