literally had 100 drinks last night.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
