So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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