I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
