I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
