I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
MIDGETS
????
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
