ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
