sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
