Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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